Humor: Forrest Gump Goes To Heaven

Humor - (Preface) - When I was a young and struggling to raise my two wonderful children as a single parent I realized the importance of joy and laughter in my life. I discovered the more I laughed, when the challenging times in my life arose (that) those times didn't seem as challenging; somehow I was able to get through them a little easier.

However, I often found it difficult to laugh easily. I realized that I needed a sense of humor! So I prayed a simple prayer, asking the Lord to give me the ability to get some humor out of life. The answer to that prayer brought a tremendous sense of FREEDOM! I then prayed and asked the Lord to help me to be able to pass humor on to others.

I would not have considered building my website without a special HUMOR section.

I used to live near a dear friend, affectionately called "Granny Terry" - she too was a single mother. Over the years, it mattered not that I was exploring a remote village on the far side of the globe, was tramping through a tropical jungle or eating food with my fingers in some African mud hut, I carried my dear friend, Granny Terry, in my heart wherever I went!

Then came the advent of the internet! Dear Granny Terry has often put a smile on my lips, lifted my spirits and made me laugh with the HUMOR emails that she forwards to me!

This is one of those emails! It's an AUTHOR UNKNOWN - I pass it on to you, the reader. Enjoy!

FORREST GUMP MEETS ST. PETER, THE GATEKEEPER

The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by the Gatekeeper, St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed.

St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that this place is filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven."

Forrest responds, "It sure is good to be here, St. Peter, Sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I sure hope that the test ain't too hard. Life was a big enough test as it was. It was really hard sometimes!"

St. Peter continued, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.

First Question: What two days of the week begin with the letter T?

Second Question: How many seconds are there in a year?

Third Question: What is God's first name?"

Forrest explained that he would have to leave for a while to think about the questions; he sure didn't want to give the wrong answers because he really wanted to get into Heaven. He returns the next day and once again sees St. Peter the Gatekeeper who said, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers" Forrest replied, "Well, the first question -- which two days in the week begins with the letter "T?" Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow."

The Saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, "Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?" asked St. Peter. As for your next question: "How many seconds in a year? Now that one is harder," replied Forrest, but I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve."

Astounded, St. Peter said, "Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?" Forrest replied, "Shucks, there's just GOT to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd... " "Hold it," interrupts St. Peter, "I see where you are going with this, and I see your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to give you credit for that one, too.

Let us go on with the third and final question, "Can you tell me God's first name?" "Sure," Forrest replied, "it's Andy."

"Andy?" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter. "Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?"

"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied, "I learnt it as a little boy from a song that we used to sing all the time in church: "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN."

St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said: "Run Forrest, Run!" (Again: AUTHOR UNKNOWN) * * * *

A Note For A Non-Native English Speaker/Reader: "Andy" = "And He"

Reader: If YOU have something of HUMOR: clean (no profanity), nothing deroggatory toward another person or group of people something that would bring a smile to someone elses' face that you would like to share and see posted on our website:

http://www.cici-online.com/humor/index.html

Though we do not promise it will be posted, we do promise that it will be considered. Please send to: articles@cici-online.com

~ Ms.CiCi ~ http://www.cici-online.com

Ms. CiCi, has a gift of teaching, is an accomplished author and world traveler who enjoys sharing her life's experiences with others, making their life, their world a bit easier. Her writings expose her wealth of "secret information" so derived from her travels as well as drawing from her own personal wealth of wisdom. A great lover of nature, a visit to her website is a true delight. http://www.CiCi-Online.Com